There's a constant breeze and better internet speed out there. I really do wish I could share the view with you and not just through pictures.
Coming to Greece I was running away from a variety of emotions... maybe even from a broken heart. (yes Rob, this is the post I was going to write ages ago)
But let me say that a broken heart can result from many things. Sometimes it's not just from the end of a relationship and sometimes it's more than just one thing. People can have broken hearts from countless things...the most common: failed dreams, the end of a relationship, missed opportunities, rejection, death... or things as little as the ending of a book, an argument, a broken plate, a lost necklace, just one word, a look of disappointment, memories alone, or even a song. It's all in degree of heartache. For me it was an accumulationg of events this past semester...
A failed relationship...
Not seeing the next four years of my brothers growing up...
The missed opportunity to visit a dying relative during easter weekend...
One of my closest cousins leaving for college...
Ignoring people because I had no explanation...
Hindsight...
Drunk text messages...
Knowing that some people will disappear...
The silence...
The morning afters where I asked myself "Did I really just do that?" and
Waning friendships...
I ask myself a lot of questions... Should I have called my family more? Should I have spent more time with my brothers? What advice could I give them? Would it have been better to have not listened to my mum and go to Houston to visit my aunt? Should I not be going to Greece and stay home? Am I missing out? Did we run out of things to talk about? Did I lose their respect? Were things complicated? Is it distance? Why didn't he call? Did I not try hard enough? Should I not have said that? And of course: what the hell am I doing?
But...I'm not sure I'm actually sad. I'm just thinking about What If's, and if you spend all your life doing that you'll never go forward. Plus I'm happy about all that has happened to me. I've changed so much... but people are dynamic. They have to change. If we were static it'd be a pretty boring place. For a little while I almost thought I had lost a bit of my optimisim... but Greece has been and will continue to be good to me. =) I have so much to experience and so much to see and so much to feel.
Thank you to the ones that have been there this semester through everything. The ones at home, the ones at school, and the strangers that stopped to smell the roses.
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